10 Best Decisions of our Married Life... #7 Be Worthy of Trust

Recently I began to share something I composed some years ago to be part of a document for a niece as she got married in June 2004.  That document was created as a compilation of entries under the title:  

THE TEN BEST... or 

The Wisdom of the most important women in your life.  

Each woman who submitted an entry chose her own subject matter.  I promised to post my entry on this blog.  This is the seventh of our top decisions in the list of:

The Top Ten Decisions Guiding Our Married Life

By Uncle John and Aunt Linda Worden

7.We will trust each other and be worthy of trust when we are apart.  If trust is violated, we will repent, forgive, rebuild trust and allow the situation to remain in the past.

I Corinthians 4:2 Now it is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful. 

Hebrews 13: 4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.          

This is a very important decision and one which can either strengthen or destroy your marriage.  When we say our marriage vows, we commit to love for a lifetime and forsake all others.  This is the commitment couples willingly make to each other on their wedding day.  But in the routine of life, there may come temptations to violate trust and break faith with our spouse.  It is possible to put someone or something in the place reserved for our marriage partner.  How painful this is when it happens.  But because all things are forgivable with God, all things need to be forgivable in our marriage.  Let me encourage you to take very seriously from day one of your marriage the decision to live worthy of the trust your spouse places in you.  If you do, you will be able to live without the pain and regret of failure.  We have absolutely no regrets for having followed this decision throughout our lives.  We have had to practice the second part of this decision and it has made it possible for our marriage to be strengthened rather than destroyed.

10 Best Decisions of our Married Life... #6 Reach Consensus or Linda Submits

Recently I began to share something I composed some years ago to be part of a document for a niece as she got married in June 2004.  That document was created as a compilation of entries under the title:  

THE TEN BEST... or 

The Wisdom of the most important women in your life.  

Each woman who submitted an entry chose her own subject matter.  I promised to post my entry on this blog.  This is the sixth of our top decisions in the list of:

The Top Ten Decisions Guiding Our Married Life

By Uncle John and Aunt Linda Worden

6.We will make all major decisions together and seek to reach consensus. We will not proceed in any area on anything unless both of us are at peace and in agreement. But if an irreconcilable difference occurs on a matter needing an immediate decision, Linda will submit to John’s leadership.

Ephesians 5: 21-23 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.  Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.  This is not difficult for us.  Uncle John is a very loving husband who gives me much support and freedom.  It is easy for me to be willing to submit to him - I almost never have to.  But there was one time when we faced an issue with a difference of opinion.  We were moving to Texas.  I really wanted to buy a house and not move into a rent home.  We looked for a house and decided to make an offer to purchase.  Our offer was turned down and since our home in Wisconsin had not yet sold, we decided not to counter offer but instead to rent a house.  The day before we drove away from Wisconsin, our realtor called to say the seller of the home we’d made an offer on had decided they would accept our offer after all.  I was just sure this was God’s will for us and I was so eager to buy instead of rent.  John, however, did not have peace about the decision and said he didn’t want to own two houses at a time.  As hard as it was for me to do, I knew I needed to submit to his will and move into a rent house.  It took six months for our house to sell but five years before we bought another home.  In looking back, it was definitely the right thing to do.  I am so glad we didn’t buy the house we had made an offer on.  It needed work and it would have been far too expensive for us if we had bought it.  Interest rates were dropping and in five years we had become acquainted with our city and remain very pleased with the home we own now.  We have absolutely no regrets for having followed this decision throughout our lives.  Having peace in decisions is a way to be protected from mistakes.

10 Best Decisions of our Married Life... #5 Live on Our Income

Recently I began to share something I composed some years ago to be part of a document for a niece as she got married in June 2004.  That document was created as a compilation of entries under the title:  

THE TEN BEST... or 

The Wisdom of the most important women in your life.  

Each woman who submitted an entry chose her own subject matter.  I promised to post my entry on this blog.  This is the fifth of our top decisions in the list of:

The Top Ten Decisions Guiding Our Married Life

By Uncle John and Aunt Linda Worden

5.We will live on the amount of money our employment provides:

            a. Pay no credit card interest

            b. Save some from each pay check for retirement

            c.  Pay cash for all purchases except items which do not depreciate.

Romans 13: 7a-8 Give everyone what you owe him:...Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another,...  Some of the decisions I am writing about are things we realize that we have lived out but may not have actually articulated until now.  This decision, however, is not in that category.  This was a very conscious, stated, clearly committed to decision from the outset of our life together.  We decided to trust our needs and wants to the Lord and let him provide for us.  There is so much I could say related to this but at this time I will just summarize how we managed this.  We have never had what most people in America would consider a huge income.  So from the beginning of our married life, we have had to live frugally.  We have learned how to do this and feel that all our needs and most of our wants have been supplied.  Sometimes our needs have been met in a manner which could only be an unforeseen answer to prayer.  For example, one month it looked as though we would be short just under $100.00 to pay our utility bills.  A letter arrived in the mail from someone who had never before given us any money.  The letter included a check for $100.00 with the explanation that they just felt it was something that they should do at that time.  Another example is this.  We lived in New York City at the time Uncle John’s father was scheduled for heart surgery.  Uncle John felt he needed to fly home to be with his mother at that time but we didn’t have the money for the trip.  We decided to book the flight anyway.  A day or so after booking the flight, a man from the church came to our door and told us that an accounting mistake had been made during the previous year and we had been underpaid.  He gave us a check in the amount we were owed - about the exact amount of the trip to Wisconsin.  So you see some of how God has taken care of us.   

But the most frequently used method of living frugally is that I have shopped want ads, estate and garage sales, thrift stores and consignment shops for all our furniture, most of our clothing and many of the other things with which we have our home furnished.  I often say that everything in our home has a story and it thrills me to share how God has provided for us at the same time that we have lived within our means.  Further training in this area comes as a free gift - my knowledge will happily be shared whenever you have questions.  We have absolutely no regrets for having followed this decision throughout our lives.  Now I have the joy of blessing my children and grandchildren, a friend in Argentina and others along the way as I find my “deals”.

10 Best Decisions of our Married Life... #4 Live on One Income

Recently I began to share something I composed some years ago to be part of a document for a niece as she got married in June 2004.  That document was created as a compilation of entries under the title:  

THE TEN BEST... or 

The Wisdom of the most important women in your life.  

Each woman who submitted an entry chose her own subject matter.  I promised to post my entry on this blog.  This is the fourth of our top decisions in the list of:

The Top Ten Decisions Guiding Our Married Life

By Uncle John and Aunt Linda Worden

4.We will live on one income when our children are pre-schoolers and longer if possible.

Deuteronomy 6: 6-7 These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts.  Impress them on your children.  Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.  Becoming a mother was the most exciting event in my life after marriage.  We had delayed starting our family until I finished my undergrad degree and Uncle John finished seminary.  (This was also an important decision.)  So when our first child was born, I was very ready to stay home and be a mother.  I have never considered it a sacrifice.  I have always viewed it as a wonderful privilege - both to be a mother and to stay home while the children were young.  I did not go back to teaching until our children began college.  Then I was able to work half time in a job sharing opportunity until we had more than one child in college.  We felt strongly that our responsibility as parents was to give our children quantity and quality where our time was concerned.  We have absolutely no regrets for having followed this decision throughout our lives.  Being home with the children allowed me to be involved in home Bible studies as well as give support to Uncle John’s career.

10 Best Decisions of our Married Life...#3 Monthly Tithe Non-negotiable

Recently I began to share something I composed some years ago to be part of a document for a niece as she got married in June 2004.  That document was created as a compilation of entries under the title:  

THE TEN BEST... or 

The Wisdom of the most important women in your life.  

Each woman who submitted an entry chose her own subject matter.  I promised to post my entry on this blog.  This is the third of our top decisions in the list of:

The Top Ten Decisions Guiding Our Married Life

By Uncle John and Aunt Linda Worden

3.Monthly tithing a minimum of 10% to Christian work is a non-negotiable commitment.

           

Leviticus 27: 30 “A tithe of everything from the land, whether grain from the soil or fruit from the trees, belongs to the Lord: it is holy to the Lord.”  We have honored this commitment regardless of our income.  We have never discussed reconsidering this even during a time of unemployment.  We have always been able to pay our bills.  Scripture has much to say about giving cheerfully, freely, generously as Jesus modeled.  As we look back on our life, we know that we have experienced blessing from the Lord.  Perhaps our honoring him with our tithes has resulted in tangible and intangible blessings.  We have absolutely no regrets for having followed this decision throughout our lives.  And in recent years, we have been privileged to give more than 10% each year to ministry causes.

10 Best Decisions of our Married Life...#2 No Divorce Option

Yesterday I began to share something I composed some years ago to be part of a document for a niece as she got married in June 2004.  That document was created as a compilation of entries under the title:  

THE TEN BEST... or 

The Wisdom of the most important women in your life.  

Each woman who submitted an entry chose her own subject matter.  I promised to post my entry on this blog.  This is the second of our top decisions in the list of:

The Top Ten Decisions Guiding Our Married Life

By Uncle John and Aunt Linda Worden

2. Divorce is not an option.

Malachi 2: 15a - 16a Has not the Lord made them one?...do not break faith with the wife of your youth.  “I hate divorce,” says the Lord God of Israel.  Since this is how God feels about divorce, we decided we would live out his desire for married couples.  Marriage is also a picture of the relationship between Christ and the church - bridegroom and bride.  His love for the bride is unconditional - characterized by forgiveness, sacrifice and grace.  We committed to have that be our goal as a married couple.  It’s not always easy but we have absolutely no regrets for having followed this decision throughout our lives.

10 Best Decisions of our Married Life..,. #1 Seek God's Direction

As I posted yesterday to share some memories of our wedding day 46 years ago, I remembered something I composed some years ago to be part of a document for a niece as she got married in June 2004.  I promised to post those 10 decisions on this blog.

The Top Ten Decisions Guiding Our Married Life

By Uncle John and Aunt Linda Worden

Dear Niece and future Nephew,

Uncle John and I have collaborated on this “Top Ten” list so I am addressing both of you as I share these decisions we have made and followed throughout the nearly thirty-eight years of our married life.  We share these thoughts with you not to seek to impress you or others with our wisdom and brilliance but because we truly feel they contain some nuggets of nurture which you may want to consider incorporating into your married life.  It has been a very joyful process to ponder the path our life has taken and to realize that we have benefited from some of the conscious and unconscious decisions we made as our life together began so long ago.  If there is anything here that is useful to you, we are humbly honored.  We have found that marriage has been a very wonderful experience for us.  We are better people because of the commitment we have to each other.  We have matured and mellowed as our lives have blended.  We share these ten decisions not to imply life is and has been perfect.  In fact, there are decisions we wish could be part of this list but because we have failed, they cannot be.  But for this gift, we are sharing our strengths; not many of our weaknesses.  We just want you to know that some of these things take years to get hammered into habits so don’t require of yourselves immediate maturity.  But starting out with a plan to incorporate your list of firm decisions will limit the potential for regret in the future.  May your love for each other be strengthened each day of your lives together and may you have many years to enjoy your “oneness”.  And if there’s anyway that we could give you some support, feel free to call at any time.

Love,

Uncle John and Aunt Linda

1. We will seek God’s direction in all aspects of our life.

Isaiah 47:17 This is what the Lord says - your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: “I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go.”  Both Uncle John (age 12) and I (age 6), became Christians at an early age.  We had already been living our lives as we felt God wanted us to so it was only natural that we would continue in our married life to seek God’s direction for us and our family. 

Matthew 6:33 “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”  This verse is telling us that when we seek to follow God’s commands, the result will be that our needs will be supplied - food, water and clothing.  We have been married for nearly 38 years and we have absolutely no regrets for having followed this decision throughout our lives.  We have abundantly experienced the promises given in these scriptures.  God’s faithfulness has brought us great joy.

Celebrating 46 Years of Marriage...

Yesterday was the 46th wedding anniversary for my husband and me. Our wedding took place in John's home church in Madison, WI.  I had lived in Madison for 3 school years and was a regular in attendance with John and his family at Faith Baptist Church by then so it was a logical choice for the wedding.  It also was more centrally located for many of our friends and family who would attend. 

John wrote the marriage vows we memorized and shared that day.

MARRIAGE VOWS

of John Worden and Linda Groves

August 20, 1966

John:  Linda, before God and these witnesses, I take thee to be my wedded wife and so covenant as the head of our home to faithfully love and care for you alone through all of life together, to share with you that depth of love that comes through knowing Christ in plenty and in want, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health until death shall separate us or until Christ returns.

Linda:  John, with God and this company in witness, I take thee to be my wedded husband, and so covenant to faithfully love and care for you alone in plenty and in want, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health so long as we both shall live.  With confidence and deepest love, I commit to you all that I am and have and hope to be till death shall separate us or Christ returns.

John's family provided much support for our special day which I have only come to really appreciate with time and maturity.  John's mother had been raised in the home of a florist.  She offered to make all floral arrangements for our wedding - bridal bouquet, attendant's flowers, corsages, boutonnieres, altar arrangements and flower girl's basket.  John's parents also hosted many of our extended family members.  Friends of theirs on the block where they lived offered enough bedrooms to house everyone saving lots of money which was very tight for many of us at that time. 

Faith Baptist Church, Madison, WI, August 20, 1966

The female attendants were our siblings.  John's sister, Cindi, is on the far left.  My next youngest sister, Kathy, was my maid of honor.  My sisters Barbara and Margelyn were bridesmaids.  All of us were university students at the time except my sister Marge who was still in high school.  

The male attendants were both family and friends.  John's younger brother, Jim, was the best man.  His sweetheart who would become his bride the next year, had opened the service with flute music.  Groomsmen were a 1st cousin of John's, Robert Stiles, and UW friends, Everett Peterson and Philip Bays.  

The flower girl, Joanne Montie, and ring bearer, Jerry Montie, were the children of the family from whom I rented a room during my third year in Madison, WI.  Part of the cost of my room was provided through some childcare so I had become close to these sweet children.

John and I were not very happy with the photo taken of the two of us in August so our photographer did a retake in early January of 1967.  Again my mother-in-law provided a duplicate of my bridal bouquet in silk flowers which very closely matched the August bouquet.

Early January - still happy to be married.

So with the passage of 46 years, there has been so much that we have shared.  It has not always been easy but we have remained committed to each other and to the Lord.  We give him credit for the many blessings we celebrate together.

We have recently returned from our 8th mission trip together to the country of Moldova.  Last year, we had this photo taken of us while we were there so it's pretty close to what we look like at this point in our lives.

La Taifas Restaurant, Chisnau, Moldova, Auguest, 2011

Several years ago, I participated with multiple family members with the creation of a document entitled, THE TEN BEST... or The Wisdom of the Most Important Women in Your Life, for a niece who was getting married.  My contribution was entitled, THE TEN BEST DECISIONS OF OUR MARRIED LIFE.

I will share those ten decisions on this blog in the future days.

For now I close with great gratitude to God for the deep joy I have in my life that comes from a marriage that is strong and settled.  Knowing that I am loved by God and my husband provides me with growing confidence to be the person who hopefully honors both of them.

Wrapping up in Moldova...

In just a few hours the last 2 of us will be driven to the airport to start our trek home.  I expect to sleep almost the whole way as I'm a bit behind on slumber.

The last day has gone well.  It included:

1. packing,
2. breakfast, 
3. touring the CERI offices, 
4. chatting with  CERI's director, Connie, in order to debrief our time here 
5. learn more about the many ways in which CERI is involved with needy children and families 
6. meet 2 sponsored girls for lunch
7. join the sponsored boys to watch ICE AGE 4 - 3D
8. shop with my girls for personal items
9. more packing
10. going to possible apartment for one girl
11. Saying "Good-bye" to the girls - some tears
12. Last Lilia delicious supper
13. Packing
14. Chatting with Connie again

Now I'm about to conclude this last blog in Moldova, get some sleep and head to the airport.

What a privilege that God has allowed me to be here this week.  I praise him for the strength he supplied and the people with whom he had me spend time.  Leaving here is not so difficult when I know that God's presence remains and his words will bear fruit.

They say the temperature reached 100 degrees but I was at the Mall during the hottest hours and that is air conditioned - oh my but I'm spoiled.

Revelation 7: 9-12

9 After this I looked, and there before me was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people and language, standing before the throne and before the Lamb. They were wearing white robes and were holding palm branches in their hands. ¹⁰ And they cried out in a loud voice:

“Salvation belongs to our God,
who sits on the throne,
and to the Lamb.”

¹¹ All the angels were standing around the throne and around the elders and the four living creatures. They fell down on their faces before the throne and worshiped God, ¹² saying:

“Amen!
Praise and glory
and wisdom and thanks and honor
and power and strength
be to our God for ever and ever.
Amen!”

Won't it be wonderful to join people from every nation when we are welcomed into God's throne room? 

Enjoy my day in photos... 

Visiting the CERI offices...

Training area...

Framed photo of a past team from Trinity Baptist in Kerrville remains just inside the front door where smiling faces greet everyone...

Ice Age 4 in Russian with these 2 sweethearts...  Enjoyed them and the pop corn - mostly missed the plot...

Got to know this sparkplug this year in a greater way...  She's full of energy and fun

This gal is very kind and helpful.  She's always willing to assist without being asked. 

An apartment through these windows may soon be home to a couple of these gals...

Nice living room...

Traditional rugs on the wall and couch... 

With the help of God, sponsors and CERI, there's hope for these nearly adult young men...

First Family of the Team House - Sergio & Connie Belciug and baby girl...

So I type my last line with joy in my heart.  It isn't easy to make these trips but it is so worth it.  I am so grateful that a church in TX has decided to support and encourage and participate in these trips, that CERI has a strong presence in Moldova to welcome and provide the ground team that's necessary and that the Lord has trusted a team of 10 to make him known among "some of the least of these" in another nation. 

Monday Memories Made in Moldova...

Today has been full of activity, fun, conversations and HEAT!

New skirt.

Ever wanted to spend time at an outdoor market of shops densely jammed together and filled with stuff plus people flowing everywhere while the temperature is in the high 90's?  Well, the girls we sponsor, a translator and I had that privilege this morning.  And it allowed the 3 girls to all find an outfit or more for their upcoming school year. 

Modeling a new dress while wearing bowling shoes...

Malldova ground level...

But we were all ready for cooler space by lunch time so went to the food court at Malldova.  The other sponsor still in Moldova had his twin boys along for the day also.  We girls had lunch by ourselves and joined the boys for about an hour of bowling - also at the mall. That was a better choice than the outdoor amusement park where we would have been scorching for certain.

Nearly ready to bowl...

Eager to roll this ball...

1st time to bowl and found it fun....

Oh, to have this guy's energy...

1st game..

View from 4th level of Malldova Bowling Alley...

We headed back to the team house around 4:45pm and I was able to have a one-on-one conversation with one gal. That was a great time of catching up with her life. She has a very difficult housing situation - living at a friend's house which is only available until Sept. - and not knowing what she'll do then.  Fortunately, CERI has seen the need of several girls and is renting a 3 bedroom apartment for her and 2 others.  I had learned of this since I've been here and had been encouraged to promote this idea with our girl.  It was feared she may not relish the guidelines included in the arrangement but when I talked to her about it today, she said she would comply with everything that CERI required.  She heard about the possibility of this offer but hadn't heard that it was definite.  As soon as she learned it was a definite option, she said,  "My answer is positive!" The apartment will be available immediately and I may get to go there with her tomorrow.  She is very excited that the apartment has 3 bedrooms as she told me she's never had a bedroom to herself. 

Sharing friendship with new friends...

After a delicious dinner, I was driven to the camp in order to connect with the 2 gals from China whom I met last week.  They are university students in a program to volunteer at camps where vulnerable children are spending time.  They were excited to see me.  We spent 2 hours sharing our lives in conversation.  I told them about Gloria, the gal from Shanghai whom I met last year.  Gloria had sent me her testimony including photos from her experience in Moldova last summer where she committed her life to Christ.  She had also told me that I could share her story with anyone who might be interested in it.  I took my computer with me this evening.  Before ending our conversation, I asked if these gals would like to see and read Gloria's story.  They replied, "Certainly!"  So I fired up my computer and we went through her story.  These gals are very new to conversation about Christianity.  They know some Christians but have not had conversations with any previously.  They had lots of basic questions.  They feel they want to study and read more things and make a decision about whether or not to embrace Christianity when they return to China.  I had other items with me and they wanted all the pamphlets, books and info I had.  Neither had a Bible so I gave them mine.  It is a Bible I travel with and is quite new.  They were very honored to receive such a special gift they told me.  

John 7: 37b-38

What a treasured time to share Biblical truth with 2 sweet girls so far from home.  I also told these girls about another Chinese gal I had met at Laity Lodge.  That gal told me that the verse which helped her decide to become a Christian was 

John 7:37b - 38

“Let anyone who is thirsty come to me and drink. ³⁸ Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them.”

I had several Max Lucado daily scripture portions in a desk top flip item which I gave these gals. The title of that desk item is COME THIRSTY. I hadn't noticed that until I gave them to the gals.

So it's been a full and awesome day. The heat has attempted to wilt us but we are not letting it even though I miss AC in the team house and CERI vehicles.  Tomorrow is supposed to be over 100 degrees and as we wing our way toward home on Wednesday, the temps are due to drop into a refreshing zone.  

Expecting another full day with girls and packing tomorrow.  Thanks for your prayers.  God is at work.

Communion Sunday in Chisinau, Moldova...

This was a very nice day.  We started with a great devo story shared by Amanda during our breakfast.  Then we were off to Jesus Savior Baptist Church for the second Sunday here because it was communion Sunday and that is so special.  The 2.25 hr service was filled with blessed worship through the choir, prayers, congregational singing, greetings, sermon and communion.

We followed that with lunch at Andy's Pizza.  It was the last day in Moldova for 6 of the team who leave for the airport at 4:40 AM tomorrow.  Therefore there were a number of things to fit in besides a debrief over supper and packing.

So it was off to the market for a few more items; back to team house to change clothes; drive by stop to tour the grounds of Internat 2 where most of the children live during the school year that we have in our camp for the week we're here; plus a drive toward a large, forest where Condrita Monastery is.

Photos will help tell the story...

Grandpa J.C. and Joanna are ready for church...

1st Sunday of the month so communion will be served...

Prayers for the bread...

And the cup...

The Wordens with 2 girls we sponsor...

This young man has much potential...

Young men who grew up in the orphanage but have had CERI's help to steer them in a godly direction...

Orphanage graduates headed onto further education with the help of CERI and sponsors...

At Andy's Pizza...

Ordered soup and it was delicious....

A mighty cheese calzone for Joanna...

Goofy kid...

Phillip loves the pepperone with corn pizza...

shared with Grandpa...

How special to have a couple of grandchildren with us...

Weddings in the chapel...

Lovely spot in the central park...

Tour of Internat 2 grounds includes playing....

That girl loves expending physical energy...

She's about to spin around this bar multiple times and wow the others...

 

The Condrita Monastery...

 

Pastoral setting...

Another photo with some very precious girls...

It was another hot day here but since it was a more relaxing day than we've had before on this trip, we didn't seem to mind it so much.  Doing church, meals and site-seeing with some very special people made for a wonderful last day for 6 team members.  One member of our team left yesterday and she's nearly home in Dallas now.  Two of us will stay until Wednesday so we can hang out with our sponsored kids some more.

The Richmond Wordens will return to their world of Chick-fil-a, school, church, family etc.  The CFA crew did great without their boss.  Business was very strong there for the week.  Thanks for prayers for them.

Update on yesterday's post:  I learned today the name of the woman who came into God's family yesterday.  It is Natalia.

Better get some sleep but am so appreciative of prayer and encouragement for the team on this trip.  We have some ideas for things which can be tweaked for another trip but much has gone well on this trip.  Most of all, we have persevered and experienced the power and provision of our Lord.  We trust He has been glorifed.